holiday

I don't like being one of these people but the holidays make me sad.. Mainly because Christmas was the only time my mother truly seemed happy and wanted us around... and now I can't even have that with her.. I feel as if something is empty every Christmas.. like I can't be truly happy... I strive to give my son the happiness I had as a child at Christmas. But that is very hard too considering Dimitri is a difficult child and always in trouble. I've gotten to this point in my life where I just keep wondering "Does it ever end??"... Do I ever get a break from the continuous heartbreak and drama?.. I am really not sure this will ever happen. But I pray one day it will. Until then I keep a smile on my face and try very hard to be the understanding mother, the helpful and loving wife... I fear that I am not doing so well at either. I am also falling behind on my sister, daughter and niece duties... As with most things in my life right now I must leave this incomplete.. as I do not have any answers and I am way to busy to try and write down all my ups and downs. Until next time...

My most resent drawing

Its sad that this is my most recent drawing. I did this last Christmas as a present for one of my friends kids. He loved it, but its a shame that I don't have more time to draw... or make more time to draw. Pity...

Frist Day

So, today was Dimitris first day of school. My baby's all grown up!! Anyway, dropping him off was a madhouse. It was crazy how many people were there and how many things I needed to still do. Paying for his lunch for the week was the most irritating. It took forever but at least I don't have to actually give him money to keep with him. What 5 year old is gonna remember where he put his money?? Other then that he was very excited. And he look so cute in his uniform. I can't wait to pick him up and see how his day was. I hope he behaved, but getting Dimitri to behave is like moving a mountain.. its next to impossible. But at least the meds keep him semi focused enough to not get him in too much trouble. Other then that work is way busy and slightly frustraiting, but "I got this." as my boss likes to say. Well, I gotta get back to it. Until next time...

What a week

So, my boss went out of town this week. She says its the first time she's felt comfortable about it because I'm here to take care of everything. Yea!! Does that mean I get a raise I asked her.. she laughed, but hey a girls gotta try!!

Anyway, yesterday my stepdaughter came over yesterday. It was good to see her. I really can't believe that shes 17 and driving by herself.. I met her when she was 15 and just a messed up girl.. I know its only been 3 years but.. wow... what a change.. what woman she is becoming. I admit I had no idea that I was going to be a stepmom to a girl who is only 7 years my junior, but this girl is a lot like me in many ways. And I hope to help her avoid some of the same mistakes I made. But I can only do this through suggestion, through her blog, as I don't get to see her often.

My son starts kindergarden on monday!! Wow!! I can't believe hes 5!!! its like time is flying by, even with all his problems I wouldn't trade him for anything. He is so excited about it to. He has promised me that he will be a "good boy" and that he will demonstrate to his teachers all his knowledge. lol!! He is so happy that he can count to 100 and spell "all" his names. I will definately write an update on this monday.

Anyway, back to the grind, as I really should be working right now. :o)