holiday

I don't like being one of these people but the holidays make me sad.. Mainly because Christmas was the only time my mother truly seemed happy and wanted us around... and now I can't even have that with her.. I feel as if something is empty every Christmas.. like I can't be truly happy... I strive to give my son the happiness I had as a child at Christmas. But that is very hard too considering Dimitri is a difficult child and always in trouble. I've gotten to this point in my life where I just keep wondering "Does it ever end??"... Do I ever get a break from the continuous heartbreak and drama?.. I am really not sure this will ever happen. But I pray one day it will. Until then I keep a smile on my face and try very hard to be the understanding mother, the helpful and loving wife... I fear that I am not doing so well at either. I am also falling behind on my sister, daughter and niece duties... As with most things in my life right now I must leave this incomplete.. as I do not have any answers and I am way to busy to try and write down all my ups and downs. Until next time...